Selfishness and Burnout (or “I always take the biggest brownie”)

When looking through the linen closet, I always take the biggest, fluffiest towel. When taking a brownie, I always go for the coveted biggest middle one. When parking my car I always go for the best spot in the lot, sometimes strategically racing other vehicles to get there.

Selfishness is as much a human instinct as breathing, dreaming, or popping bubble wrap; to battle this default position is to declare war on our very nature. Still, Christ calls us to wage that war, even though He’s already achieved the victory.

Burnout is often blamed on the demands of the ministry world, but we would be foolish to discount our role in this malady, our selfishness is a major contributing factor. Scripture cautions us about thinking too highly of ourselves (Romans 12), yet we pastors are frequently consumed with perceived slights, recognition, people-pleasing, and getting what we believe we deserve. Certainly such sin propels us deeper into burnout.

If we want to escape or avoid burnout, we should take a good look at our own hearts.  And maybe leave the biggest brownie for someone else to enjoy.

Unspoken Expectations (or “when the should hits the fan”)

There are a number of unspoken expectations on a pastor, and, like most unspoken expectations, they are not fair.

Think of all the things many people believe their pastor should do:

• Preach every Sunday unless he is gone
• Visit the hospital for every person in the congregation, and their siblings, and their friends, and their sibling’s friend’s dog’s niece.
• Be available 24/7
• Live in a constant state of grace, understanding, patience, acceptance
• Not live in a state of grace, understanding, patience, and acceptance when it comes to certain sins
• Have a perfect family consisting of three well-adjusted children who have memorized the Psalms and a wife who plays piano.
• Be content. At $30,000 a year and no retirement. With $120,000 in student loans.
• Know the name of every person who crosses the threshold of the church, their kids’ names, their occupations, and their pets’ names.
• Lead singing and play guitar.
• Be able to tell them where “that one verse that goes something like” is.
• Drywall.

These unspoken expectations are a big steaming pile of should, and I step in it frequently. Unfortunately pastors do not find out they stepped in the should pile until enough of it has built up that it hits the fan and some congregant or another calls a meeting. Then the should really flies as a person hits the pastor with a long, sometimes well-documented, list of shoulds that the pastor failed to perform, none of which were in his job description.

Unspoken expectations ruin relationships and battle against authenticity as pastors are made to tread cautiously, not wanting to inadvertently make a mess. Pastors should work against this by leading with boldness and not out of fear, but their congregation can help by clearly communicating what is expected and accepting some responsibility when a pastor steps in a pile of should.

Impenitence (or “people not hating sin”)

The impenitent heart is the calloused, barely beating, often scarred, rotting lump of flesh found in the chest cavity of those who have grown cold toward the Holy Spirit. To pastors, it is a black hole, a mysterious joy-sucking vortex found within far too many of his congregants. Impenitent hearts are people who have been taught truth, claim to believe that truth, but live indifferently to it. It’s the Sunday School teacher who can educate his or her 4th grade class about tithing, but their home budget doesn’t include the church. It’s the Youth Pastor who teaches purity two hours after viewing porn in the church office. It’s the church-goer who listens to a sermon about being the salt and light of the world then goes to work where not one person knows he or she even goes to church.

The byproducts of marrying knowledge with indifference are hypocrisy and judgmentalism. Niel Cole once stated that “we in the Western church are educated beyond our obedience.” How many pastors make this same observation every single week? Our congregations know truth, we teach it to them week after week, sermon after sermon, study after study, and yet where is the life change? Where are repentant hearts? Where are the called ones rising up?

When I discovered my students’ Twitter feeds it hit home for me: My students were hearing/memorizing/teaching God’s Word, but it’s impact was nowhere to be seen in the godless logs of their lives among the F-Bombs, OMGs, party pics, and cyber-bullying. I had to ask myself some difficult questions: How do I go about facilitating the transformation from impenitent hearts to repentant hearts? How much responsibility do I have for my students behavior? Do I call my students on their godless behavior? Can I start drinking now, too? What exactly is a S/O and a RT?

Still working on the answers.

Venomous Sheep Bites (or “people hurt pastors”)

Dwight L. Moody is credited with saying something like, “Ministry would be great if it weren’t for all the people”.  I’ve never heard the context of this quote, and I’ve seen it in various forms, but it’s been spread throughout the ministry subculture for a reason: People suck.  Some doctrines are discussed but never observed (think angels on the head of a pin), but the dogma of man’s inherent sin is readily visible in any church pew (or mirror, for that matter).

The fact is people tend to feel the liberty, even the invitation, to openly criticize their pastors at will and without regard for the impact their words may have. Favored critiques include comparisons to previous pastors, pastors of other churches, and pastors on TV’; quantities of humor, altar calls, mission trips, offerings, and sermons; length of messages, prayers, and their wife’s skirt; and how well the pastor cares for them, their children, their nieces, their great-aunt’s-friend’s-cousin’s-dog’s-lover.  The criticisms voiced openly are enough to advocate a lockable prayer closet, but it’s the criticisms spoken behind closed doors and learned of later that really tempt the pastor to dunk parishioners just a little longer than necessary during baptism services.

Gossip is a cancer, and harsh criticism is a sure way to demotivate even the tireless of pastors. Why do Christians tear one another down? Why do we tread on the servant-leaders God Himself has assigned as our authority? Pastors all over the world are being burned out, exhausted, and discouraged by the words of those they sacrifice so much to serve.  Matthew recorded Jesus’ teaching on the appropriate approach to conflict, I think maybe we should go with Jesus on this one. If you’ve got a problem with your pastor, maybe you should give him a call.