The soul-shattering, heart-crushing initial moments of brokenness are the things of pastoral nightmares. The ornate rug of pride (we call it acknowledgment of God’s blessings), self-righteousness (we call it discernment), and arrogance (we call it confidence) is pulled from beneath our well-polished Sunday shoes and we find ourselves on our backs, looking up at the ugly face of reality. The world has an axis and in such moments we rediscover the uncomfortable reality that it is not us. The impact leaves us breathless, stunned, hurting.
During such moments we feel hopelessly ruined, gravity has shifted and what was up will now be down for all of time. The recovery does come, but slow. And this is where we find truth in the biblical paradox: last really is first, weak really is strong, broken really is whole. The swift knock to our far too large heads brings clarity, the godly perspective: we really are not capable of anything by ourselves. Our sin-soaked, self-seeking hearts are addicts of praise, we are glory thieves, we hoard what we were never intended to receive. When we glimpse the divine perspective we are convicted, which leads to confession, which leads to repentance, which leads us to a place where we can worship “in spirit and in truth”, and when we worship we can truly minister properly.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss said, “It is a wonder what God can do with a broken heart, if He gets all the pieces”, and it is when we are on our knees after being put on our backs that we learn exactly how true her words are. Being burned out means relying on God, and there is no substitute for such a powerful position of weakness.
Burned Out Pastor 